Let's Get It On

So this weekend I seemed to accomplish little more than getting too drunk, doing unwise things, and then waking up with a raging hangover, that 'oh no..I didn't do that did I?' feeling, and a desperate need for pizza. On the bright side, I did manage to have my first real catchup with John since I left last year...even if it did include a loud duet of Cliff Richard (which somehow we both knew all the words to). So the next day was pretty much reserved for the alco munchies, drinking lots of water, watching Frasier on repeat, and wondering why I ever do this to myself. Again. I'm going to blame soju.

Thankfully, Sunday was hangover free and open to adventure! Ignoring the blistering cold and raging snowstorm, we braved the bus to Bucheon with the intention of going ice-skating in Seoul. Once we got to Bucheon and the snow-storm was still raging we realised this was stupid. Quick, give me shelter!

So shelter took the form of a DVD bang. To my friends in Korea...this was an innocent visit to a DVD bang with my boyfriend :-) To my friends back home, I should explain....

Korea is still quite a conservative country. My friend claims it's 'the most conservative non-muslim country in the world'...although I don't think I'd go that far. Actually, it's becoming more and more liberal at an incredible speed.  But it's true to say that almost all young people still live at home with their parents until they marry. And by home, I mean, quite small apartment. So that's privacy out the window. And there are lots of reasons why you would want privacy, and Korea seems to have created a 'bang' (private room) to accomodate them all.

 A gossip with your girlfriends? Head to a Jjimjibang (sauna). You want to play computer games with your school buddies? Drop into a PC bang (computer room). You want to sing to your hearts content? Visit a Noraebang (singing room). Kids birthday party? Go jump around at a bhangbang. You wanna go get some 'privacy' with your boyfriend? Head to a DVD bang (DVD room).....

DVD bangs are small private rooms, just large enough to fit in a bed, a large screen, surround sound....and some ....er....tissues. Actually these rooms are great to watch films! They are absolutely everywhere, boast hundreds of films to choose from, and are an amazing option if you find yourself stuck somwhere for a few hours in a snowstorm. Lots of people go there to watch films. But there's no denying the real reason that most people frequent these rooms. The wipe-down mattresses say it all...... 

Actually, given how conservative Korea suppposedly is about sex, there are a lot of avenues for getting some or having some. Love Motels are practically everywhere and can be paid for by the hour or by the night. They range in seediness, from being generally quite wholesome (with just a few free condoms in the corner) to schnazzy circular beds and mirrors on the ceiling, to downright seedy with sex toy vending machines in the hallways. 

Korea still hosts many 'booking' clubs, in which a girl from the street can enter and drink for free, as long as she sits with a chosen table of men. Watch out what singing room you enter too, as some of them have stand-in girls waiting to be your 'company' for the evening for a fair price. In my first year of Korea I accidently took my father and step-mother to a sexy 'Noraebang', not realising until I turned around to notice naked girls writhing all over the screens. It was one of those times I really wished they weren't reverands.

So yes, sex is everywhere in Korea....except the public eye it seems. I guess that's what happens when you try and supress something...it pops up in the seediest of places. Doesn't help that all those places end with the word bang.

So after all that, it seems rather boring to say that Lee and I watched Avatar, enjoyed the electric heated matress for its heat as opposed to it's plastic texture, and then went and played some pool. Oh well, at least it had stopped snowing when we got outside. 

In the News

Too often, Korea is in the news only because of 'the war'. The war that never actually happens and doesn't really affect anyone living here. So what's going on the rest of the time?

Well, Korea is known for its little eccentricities. Like when someone created the 'death experience' where people had to write their own suicide notes and then be shut in a coffin for 20 minutes, all in an attempt to deter people from commiting suicide. Or how the government decided to send home it's workers an hour early each Wednesday in the hope they'd make babies. Or when the 69yr old lady finally passed her driving test after 960 attempts....and they still gave her a license (look out Korea)....

So what wierd things have been going on recently? Well......!

Government Say Get out Your Long-Johns

This month has been excrutiatingly cold...hitting the chilliest temperatures in years, down to -27 with windchill. Bleedin freezin some might say. So everyone has cranked on the heating to surive the winter. Understandable I think. But this surge in power use is threatening a severe powercut across the country which could be crippling for businesses and familes alike. So the government have announced that all civil servants must wear high-tech thermal underwear, turn down the heating to a maximum of 18 degrees, and turn off all heating devices for a set number of hours a day. In the streets, members of NGO's energy network held campaigns across Seoul urging citizens to don thermal underwear and avoid this energy crisis. It's almost as though my mother knew when she sent me that thermal vest for Christmas.

campaigners in Myeongdong 'wrap up to save energy'


The Octopus Heads Up

Government officials turned some angry heads when they publically suggested that eating more than two octopus heads a day could be bad for your health. Tests showed that the heads contain carcinogen cadmium, which could poison your kidney and liver if eaten in enough quanity. Restaurant owners were outraged by the statement, especially as it meant the sales of their octopus heads plumeted. The officials also suggested removing the octopus' internal organs before devouring the poor thing whole, and usually alive.

Local fishermen and restaurant owners joined forces to protest to Seoul's mayor - demanding both an apology and reparations for lost sales. The mayor gave a vague apology, but stood by his decision to 'inform people of the health risks associated with eating octopus'. Pretty fair, I think? 

But this wasn't good enough for the protestors. So in a public attempt to prove their support for the fishermen, a group of well-known legislators decided to eat live octopus at the National Assembly Session, heads and all. The Mayor has since issued an apology, and October 20th is now renamed 'Seoul Octopus Day'. 

legislators eating live octopus

So word to the wise....don't mess with Koreans. They LIKE the heads.



Nom Nom Nom

Must. Do. Something. New. Every. Week. Or that's the plan anyway. Apparently the key to happiness is doing something new every day, but that would get exhausting. So every week it is! And I was racking my brains with what to do this week. As wonderful as Korea is, it's not built for tourism like the rest of South East Asia. What do I normally do when travelling? What is it that Korea does really well?

Aha.....of course......my favourite thing.........food......

I love Korean food! It's meaty, spicy, has countless side dishes, and you get to cook it yourself sat cross-legged on the floor in any restaurant you visit. OK so meaty wouldn't apeal to everyone. Korean's are baffled by the idea of vegetarianism and, despite the large quanity and variety of veg they use in their cooking, almost every dish has at least a little meat in it. A vegetarian friend of mine arrived in Korea to be given a welcoming lunch from her school's director. She had told him via email that she was vegetarian. She told him on meeting that she was vegetarian. He smiled and said he understood. So she pointed to the suspicious pink item in her meal and asked what it was. 'Ah..... ham!' he replied cheerfully.

So not the most apetising place for those who don't eat meat. But for me, a pure carnivore, Korea is a delight. I do sidestep the dog, the chicken feet, the live octopus, the silkworm lavae and the sea snails......but the rest is incredible. Relentlessly served with gochujang (red pepper paste), and always more kimchi (spicy fermented cabbage) that you can eat.......I thought it was high time I took a Korean Cooking Class.

 After only a few hours perusing the internet and ignoring my teaching duties, I found Ongo Food, a cooking class based in Seoul. And dish of the day: Dakktoritang (spicy chicken stew) and radish, beansprout & chili salad.

We arrived late, as per usual, after running around in temperatures of  -20's, expecting to find a room full of ready-to-be masterchefs glaring at us......but were pleasantly surprised to find that we were the only students of todays class, meaning we had 3 Korean chefs and a wonderfully proffessional kitchen of our own to burn down.  The chefs spoke excellent English and did a wonderful job of demonstrating how it should be done. We then did a wonderful job of showing them how easy it is to forget how it should be done. But soon enough we were all proudly holding our dishes and munching away, before heading out again for a tour of a local market so that we can buy the ingredients again.

 So with my newfound Korean cooking talent under my belt, and a knowledge for how to spy and buy the ingedients....be warned.....next time I see you I may try it out on you. Mwoah ha ha (evil laugh). You may not think that's threatening, but last time I tried to revise an exotic cooking class I burnt the kitchen down whilst my sister shouted 'Call the emergency services!' and I yelled 'I need a man! I need a man!'. So be warned.....

My Dizzy Rascals

It's Sunday night, and another Monday is looming. Actually, I rather like teaching my little rascals. As a substitute teacher once said, '95% of those kids are diamonds'...(I choose to ignore the other 5%) and so I generally feel pretty lucky as a teacher. Teaching little 'uns between 6-12 years old, start classes at 3:30pm, finish at 8:30....it's a pretty fun and easy ride.

But my kids don't have an easy ride. When I was between 6-12 years old I'd be home, strapped into my rollerboots and doing circuits of the garden by 3:30pm.....not just arriving at my second school for another dose of classes. I'm sure that a huge proportion of my young life was spent running around the streets with my school buddies, playing british bulldog, watching byker grove and sleeping. But here in Korea, freetime is a rarity and studying is a very different story.

As in England, all South Korean children attend school during the day (public school). They also have school every alternate Saturday. But after school, instead of having the evening to spend frivolously with friends, the children rush to their second school......'hagwans'...or academies. Academies can be in any subject - maths, science, English, and just like public school, have homework, tests and report cards. During the public school holidays, us hagwans are nice enough to provide extra classes to fill in the study gap. Many students have 2 or 3 hagwans, and so literally run from one to the other until 9 or 10pm. And these are just the elementary school children. High school children stay at school until past midnight.

Crikey malikey I hear you cry! Well.....yes. When I first started teaching, I used to tell my kids that in England, we don't go to school on Saturday, and school fnishes at 3:30pm. But watching their little weary faces made me feel so bad, I prefer the 'ignorance is bliss' stance now. In credit to Korea, it does hold the highest literacy rates in South Asia, and one of the highest literacy rates in the world (also the highest suicide rate in the developed world......coincidence?)....but I wonder how much a child can mentally absorb after 8 hours studying.

The vicious circle is that any child who doesn't attend an academy is inevitably disadvantaged to those who do - forcing parents to work more to pay for more academies and repeating the cycle. Parents work such long hours in Korea that there is an ageing population - they are not having enough babies to provide for the older generation in the future. The Government tried to tackle this problem by sending home workers an hour early on a Wednesday, 8pm instead of 9, so they could procreate. Maybe the Government realised this wasn't working when everyone was going home and sleeping instead.

Anyway.... back to my little rascals. Every teacher has different teaching methods for their kids, but seeing as our kids are forced into an work-a-holic lifestyle at a tender age, I always try and make my classes as fun as possible. So long as they are effectively practicing their English, I am happy to make movies, throw balls, speed through tongue-twisters, have writing relay races and play games (even if I am overly competitive and have to win, even if my opponent is 6 years old and we are playing snap).....after-all, motivation is the single highest factor in determining a students success.

So they might be tired, they may be little rascals, but they are my little rascals and I wouldn't swap them for any others. Let's hope that in the future, Korea gives them a break and realises that being young is for having fun.....not studying until you're dizzy. I want little rascals not dizzy rascals! ;-) 

Vietnam - Bia Hoi in Hanoi

Our trip to Vietnam was destined to end in Hanoi for some New Years Eve partying, and Hanoi was perhaps my favourite place we visited.

 The Old Quarter of Hanoi has so much going on in the streets - it's jam-packed with hostels, shops, food stalls, markets, scooters, rickshaws and conical hat-wearing sellers. My favourite thing to do was sit in a bar, play cards and just watch the city live. The streets are lined with red communist propaganda posters, and almost every other stall is either displaying or selling pictures of their beloved Ho Chi Minh, their (deceased) communist leader.

There wasn't actually that many specific things to see or do in Hanoi, compared with other major cities, other than immerse yourself in the street life and enjoy, but the two things that made our list were definatly worth it. The first was Lan Ho Prison dubbed the 'Hanoi Hilton'. It was very moving, especially as you could visit the death row cells, and seeing as we visited on the day of New Years Eve we figured we needed to get out and cheer ourselves up pretty quickly.

So Beer Ahoy for a Bia Hoi! Bia Hois are local drinking venues dotted around Han Oi which spill out onto the streets and into the road. A beer is 4,000dong (13p) and is another great place to sit, watch the city and get steadily more pissed with other like-minded travellers. We started knocking them back at 2pm which seemed a fantastic idea until it was 7, we were already steaming, and no-where near the 12 o'clock New Year mark. We headed back to our hostel to take advantage of the free-beer-hour and that's where it all went a bit wrong......we peaked too soon and passed out by 11. Dammit! Schoolboy error! But seeing as Vietnam doesn't celebrate the western new year we didn't miss out on much (or so we keep telling ourselves) and had an amazing day....

and for the first time ever, was hangover free New Years Day! A trip to the Temple of Literature, the Dong Xuan night market, and another day marvelling at just how many things one person can carry on a shoulder stick or a bycicle, and we were done. Until next time.

THE VIETNAM VERDICT


I had wanted to write a really positive 'oh my god it was amazing' account of my time in Vietnam....but I want to be honest too. All in all I had a wonderful time and truly enjoyed my glimpse into Vietnamese life. I loved the culture, the food, the beautiful beautiful scenery.....but, in truth, I felt the place was danerously close to losing its charm. From an incredibly optimistic start to the trip I felt my enthusiam for the country wane, and continue at a 'take it or leave it' basis. This was a surprise, especially as the previous few countries I visited far outdid my expectations. I originally started to write about why I felt uninspired by Vietnam, but then stopped. It could get boring. And sound as though I disliked it far more than I did. I enjoyed it, it was beautiful, I'd recommend it if you were in South East Asia.....but there was a certain charm lacking. Of course, I only travelled the north and for a limited time, so I would love to go back to the South and what it can do to prove me wrong. So I say again.....until next time.......

Vietnam: 'You wan' buy fom me?'

Aaaah Sapa! The mountain town in the very north tip of Vietnam, covered in mist from the mountains, and the stomping ground for the surrounding Hill Tribe H'mong people. Colder than the rest of Vietnam, I became quite thankful for my mother's thoughtful thermal vest Christmas present. We arrived at dawn, when the town was engulfed in pink cloud, and the loud-speakers were starting to play their daily morning songs (loudly).

At this early hour, Sapa felt like a place of tranquility, and seeing the Hill Tribe people wander into the marketplace, a wonderful place to watch a last minority of people carry out their daily life. Aaaaah......peace. But Sapa was anything but peaceful. It became quickly apparent that it was a lot poorer than the areas we had seen so far. Any child above the age of 5, who not already selling in the town, was working. They were farming, collecting wood, making things...and the younger children were left taking care of the babies.

The H'mong men were largely unseen, but the women and girls were all in the town, with one aim only.....to SELL. Fair enough I guess. It was actually quite charming at first.....but then we started to get followed into restaurants, followed down the street, grabbed hold of, swarmed.....some had learnt limited English, but the younger girls were literally repeating the same line over and over again with obviously no idea of what they were saying 'You wan' buy fom me?'

The majority of H'mong people have never left their local surroundings - they have been born and raised in the minority villages amongst the rice paddies and the mountains. I wonder what they have been told about foreign visitors, and what they think our aim is when visiting them. I had hoped to visit Sapa for the beauty and the culture, but I think these people genuinely thought we had travelled there to buy from them...and it could cause great offense if we didn't. Smiles quickly turned to spitting or muttering words.

So we left the pestering of Sapa town behind and rented a scooter to explore alone. And the scenery is beautiful! Mist and cloud engulfs the town, but it quickly moves and rises, and when it does it displays endless rice paddies, mountains, rivers, buffalo grazing and villages in the valleys. Outside of the town, the people became a lot more friendly, waving at us as we drove by. We headed up to the highest road in Vietnam and sat taking in the breathtaking views.

The next day we decided to do some trekking to the local H'mong villages. Wanting to avoid all the tour groups, we ventured out alone. The first village, Cat Cat, was absolutely packed with tourists and I do not believe that a single H'mong person lives there. It was very charming and pretty, and worth a visit, but it was just another place for the people to sell their goods. We quickly moved on.

The other villages were quite a distance away and therefore had far fewer tourists. Arriving to the start of the trail by motorbike taxi, 3 local village women with babies strapped to their backs welcomed us and started walking with us. We were waiting for the inevitable 'you wan' buy fom me?' ...but these women just seemed happy walking with us, showing us the way and speaking some English. Part of the steep descent down to their village they handed both Lee and I small handmade animals made from reeds that they had been making while walking. Once we reached the village, to thank them for their help and directions, we handed them 50,000 dong (£2) each. They looked genuinely surprised that we were giving them anything, and as the smiles broke on their faces, they each gave us a small gift before leaving. It was the highlight of Sapa and a reminder not to judge people because of the actions of others.

 That evening we left Sapa. We left with mixed feelings about the place - the scenery was breathtaking and the local villages, once far enough away from central Sapa, were gloriously simple and welcoming. But once inside Sapa, the tourism simply took over and the 'sells' by local people too driven. The people need to be careful that they don't turn from being the reason to come to Sapa, to the reason to avoid it. If Hanoi's sound is the beeping of motorbike horns, and the sound of Halong Bay the lapping of water against your kayak...then the sound of Sapa is definitely 'you wan' buy fom me?'.

Vietnam - Rock the Cat Ba!

Good morning Vietnam! Or actually, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in my case. I've just returned from a few weeks in the North of Vietnam, and it's a country I've been wanting to visit for a very long time.

We arrived in Hanoi late on Christmas Eve, but it was OK....the whole city was still out in force, apparently celebrating Santa. Everyone was in the streets dressed in full santa's outfits, or at worst, holding onto a huge helium balloon of his face. Come the next morning, actual Christmas Day, not a red suit was in sight and all the kids were at school. It was OK though, we were off to Halong Bay - the bay hosting thousands of limestone rock formations emerging from emerald green water.

Halong Bay was undeniably spectacular. What was even more spectacular were the whole communities that lived and worked...even went to school......on the water miles out to sea. Growling guard dogs were planted on each floating property to secure it of any valuables (and to terrify us people kayaking past incase a freak current bore us into their lair) and lone women loitered near the tourist areas in their small boat 'shops' offering any kind of (overpriced) refreshment you could want.

Halong Bay was beautiful, but I felt stifled by all the tours. I didn't enjoy the bizzare cave tour ("what does this rock look like.....? It's a penguin, see, a penguin") or having the regimented kayaking, eating, waking, swimming times. I was also a bit miffed that no-one else wanted to unleash the karaoke machine with me, so I persuaded Lee to abandon ship and at the nearest island make our own way from there.

The nearest island was Cat Ba, and a beautiful island it was! A scooter for $5 a day and you're off! We found a cheap hostel on the bay which boasted a lovely collection of 90's soft porn pictures, as well as the best Vietnamse food around, and headed out for adventure. White sand beachs on the coast, conical hat-wearing workers in the fields & forest clad mountains all around. Needless to say I was click happy.

The only shame of this island, same as Halong Bay, was the ever-looming precense of tourism, existing and in the make. Every nice beach had been made into a resort, and huge areas has been flattened to make space for more. I wish I could have visited 10 years ago and I think I would be sad if I visited in another 10. The fear that Vietnam is selling out long-standing beauty for short-term gain hit me numerous times on my trip. But what country doesn't, we might ask?

One place certainly devoid of all tourists was the almost-impossible-to-find 'hospital cave' where the Viet Cong had secretly lived for up to 10 years at a time during the American War. Just as we were trying to find our way up to it a local man appeared, produced a set of keys and offered to show us inside. After cranking open the rusty metal door he stepped inside and beckoned me in. I stepped into the clammy darkness and then he put a gun to my head. My mind raced between believeing this was a joke and that it was serious, but his unsmiling face didn't make me feel better. Suddenly, the old devil burst in raucous laughter, took great joy in mimicing my facial expressions (which im sure were more exaggurated than my cool reaction) and showed me that it was a replica gun. Ha ha.....nice one.....haha.

The cave, ingeniously built from the inside, and utterly invisible from the out, once boasted washing areas, a kitchen, even a swimming pool and cinema. Sounds almost 5 star. Actually, once inside the air was clammy, thick and dark and I wouln't have wanted to spend 10 hours in there let alone 10 years. One section required you to crawl, on your stomach, about 30 metres into another section which opened up again. Lee led the way, but after about 20 metres realised he 'wasn't really enjoying it' and wanted to go back. I started to crawl out but I suddenly became hooked on something in the ceiling and was trapped. I wasn't hooked onto something....something was hooked onto me! The local man had silently crawled behind me, stretched his body onto the pitch black ceiling of the cave and had grabbed me! Once again, his raucous laughing echoed around the cave. "Two times....haha.....Two times!". Once again, old man, thank you. As we left we gave him a tip for showing us the cave, but really, the old bugger should have paid me compensation.

The following day involved a boat trip around the quieter Lan Ha Bay - which is identical tro Halong Bay but with numerous hidden white sand beaches, and considerably less tourists.....making it considerably nicer. We kayaked, swam, visited beaches with monkeys, got sunburnt and returned at sunset. A beautiful day.

The next day we were Sapa bound - so we had just one thing left to do on Cat Ba - visit the National Park in the morning. We expected an easy saunter through some rainforest, me in my flipflops and Lee with a beer in hand, until we realised what a terrible error we had made with this hugely steep, climbing ascent up to the viewing point. Too stuborn to admit defeat, I did it mostly in barefoot while cursing all the hiking-boot clad tour groups around me.

The view at the top was spectacular - unending rainforest as far as the eye could see. But once again I felt stifled by tour groups, especially after one too many "should have brough your hiking boots, hey" comments and so was eager to move on to less touristy lands.....

Sapa and the North!