Zero to Hot in 5 Seconds

It takes a brave person to drive in Seoul. And it turns out, I am that brave. Sort of. Well, not really. Last weekend we donned helmets, took the wheel and raced the track at Kart Racing go-karts in Seoul.

It was a particularly hot and hungover Saturday. Seriously hot. And seriously hungover. So I was beginning to wonder why I'd agreed to go go-karting, when instead I could be in my fully-aircon apartment sipping cold coke, with an ice-cream on the side and my head in the freezer. Maybe my over-heated self was starting to get delirious.

One thing was certain though - in the heat and the hang, I was starting to get really scared about driving. I don't drive at home, but that's not stopped me driving scooters all over India, Asia and Europe....so why should I care about a go-kart in Korea? God knows. All I know is that there were free Krispy Kreme donuts and I couldn't eat one of them. I must be feeling rough.

Two hours of waiting later, I was starting to wonder how I'd ever get through it without being seriously sick. In a helmet. Eurgh. So when our names were finally called, and we were able to burst forth through the start line, I found myself going as fast as I could possibly manage without sending myself over the edge - which turned out to be a little less than walking speed. After the first lap, and having been lapped by everyone esle at least twice, I went past the karting technicians who were all frantically waving at me. 'I don't know what you're saving!' I attempted shouting inside the helmet. But I knew what they were saying. It didn't matter. I wasn't going to speed up for them, I was feeling ropey enough as it was.

This is the first time I've ever felt simultaneously bored and terrified. By the time we finished, I was so unbelievably happy that it was over I almost managed to convince myself that I'd enjoyed it. Or....Did I? It did help that the owners greeted us off the track with free cold beers. That's more like it. And seeing as the track is conveniently situated on the bank of Seoul's Han River, we decided to get a few drinks and enjoy the view.

 Actually, the view wasn't enough for everyone. The water was just too tempting. One of our friends stripped off and went for a good old swim in the huge city river. The Korean's were delighted to watch and waved from the sidelines.

But is it clean? Well, I hope so. Not just for my friend, but for the 700 elementary school students who are required to swim the river every year. Either way, it's a nice change from England where last time I saw someone go for a dip, everyone shouted 'speedo' at him until he was out of hearing. Yes, it felt good to be in Korea today.

Going for the Go-Karting?

If you like Go-Karts, you're not hungover, and you don't go midday in mid-June.....you would probably really enjoy the go-karting. So here's a little info:

Place:      Kart Racing (Korean only website). 
Where:    A 10 minute walk from Jamsil Sports Complex subway station exit 5/6. 
Cost:       15,000 won per 15 min session. Or you can take Pro Karts (super speedy ones) for 35,000 won per session.

Korea Au Naturale

Wow, Korea is hot. Really hot. The annual parade of stepping outside to be hit by a wall of heat, only to step inside to be hit by a wall of aircon has begun. And what do you wear? It's a balance between baring your skin to stay cool versus covering it up to avoid getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. And I'm losing - eighteen bites and counting.

But I promise you, I'm not moaning. It's amazing. There is nothing like the sticky, sweaty humidity of Asian summer to laze away your days. You just have to be in the right place. Somewhere outdoors, out of a city, out of the mainland, out in a sea breeze.....somewhere Au Naturale. With nature and wildlife and stars. Deokjeokdo Island was awaiting. And it had some surprises up it's sleeve.

The weekend was a national holiday, meaning we had four days to explore. Unfortunately, Korea Au Naturale wanted to greet us with a lot of rolling mist. It was warm...but the mist covered...well, everything. Very atmospheric. But the chances of spotting any nature or wildlife or stars were pretty minimal, and anyway, it seemed like every English teacher in South Korea had had the same idea on where to party this weekend. So we did what anyone else would do.... started drinking at 9:30am and dug an 8 foot hole. Actually, some dug the hole while others (cough) sat around drinking, but I'd like to say it was a team effort.

That night, a huge bonfire was set up on the beach for everyone to party around, but that's not where we wanted to be, oh no.... in the darkness and the mist was Korea Au Naturale's first surprise.

The seawater in Deokjeokdo is phosphorus. We walked out into the mist, to the water's edge, and even before reaching the sea could see our footsteps lighting up with each step. It was working! At the sea edge it was even more spectacular - the waves crashing caused the phosphorus algae to light up like a chemical reaction, and the whole wave would glow bright blue across the sea. Combine this with atmospheric mist and a whole day's drinking, and you have a truly euphoric moment. At least, that's how I justify the next two hours of gleefully frolicking on a misty beach while shouting 'It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!' with two grown men.

The next day the sun was shining. Now that's more like it! More friends had come across to the island, and the beach was definitely missing the more larey expats from the day before. Turns out that hangovers can be benefical afterall (heh heh heh). So we got the guitars and the drinks out, swam in the sea, found starfish and seahorses, and got nice and merry.

Well into the afternoon, and well in need of a breeze to cool down, we popped back to our guesthouse to find Mr Kim, the guesthouse owner. Mr Kim is a retired Seoul Man who's got Soul - he locks no doors, offers you everything he owns, calls you his family, and makes jokes the whole time he's around. So when we asked if we could take a couple of his bikes for a cycle up to a secret beach, there was no problem.

The secret beach has no signs and no path to lead you through the forest, so unless one of the locals is enjoying the tranquillity too, you have the beautiful beach to yourself. 'So quiet, you cannot hear footsteps', as our local source once described to us. The reason you can't hear footsteps, we found out, is because most of it's inhabitants don't have feet.

The next day, after another night of fires, frivolities and guitars, we decided to take our friends to the secret beach. At the part of the mountain where you leave the path and start the steep descent through the forest, you have no choice but to go slowly. Pretty damn lucky, seeing as the leader of the group suddenly swung round mid-step shouting 'Shit, I almost stepped on that thing!'. Right in front of us, blocking our only way, was a six-foot snake.

So...gulp....what do we do now? Step over it? No fookin way am I treading over that thing. Is it poisonous? I've got no bloomin idea. Find another way around? In the density of this forest, this path was the only route. After what seemed like a really long time of discussing snake psyche (as if any of us knew) it effortlessly glided up a tree, only to stay poised at head height, as if uncertain of whether it was retreating or just finding better ground to bite us from. (Those beady eyes said 'bite' to me).

Well, we couldn't stand there all day. It was either go back or risk it. Opinions were mixed. Finally, three of us edged past the snake, while the other five decided not to risk it. On to the beach!

On the beach was a Korean fisherman with his sons. He'd been there the day before, so we waved and then went rock climbing. On our way back, we thought we should warn him about the snake, just incase it was dangerous. After patiently watching my flamboyant mime of the snake escapade, he smiled and said in perfect English 'Oh yeah, you get big snakes here'. Oh. I asked him if it was poisonous. 'Oh sure. One bite and you die' he said cheerfully. Oh well. At least the beach was nice. And seeing as we now had to walk back up the mountain, I'm going to tell myself he was joking too.  

That afternoon, everyone left the island....except Lee and I. We wanted one last night on the beach before heading back to reality. Once the last bus had taken all the expats and the church groups back to the port, the island was quiet and still. The elderly fisherman came out to their sitting posts, the women started gardening, and the only noise were the dogs barking in the distance. It felt like this little island was nicer once the wave of westerners had departed. We took a blanket out to the  wooden pagoda by the sea edge and read our books in the sunset. Flying fish were jumping in the port. This was nice (contented sigh). An elderly man came across and jumped onto his fishing boat. He saw us and started waving. Ahhh, the people here are nicer too. And then we realised he wasn't waving...more like, flinging his arms around. What's that he's saying? 'Go Home'? Oh right, so he prefers the island without the westerners too. The old rascal.

Thankfully, the other islanders are actually nice (there's always one, isn't there?). The next morning, Mr Kim drove us to get our boat. I wondered how he had ever gone from 50 years of Seoul City to the silence and serenity of Deokjeokdo. 'Aaaah, that's easy.' he said. 'I just take my fishing boat out and watch the sea. Next time you come I will take you out on it. You will see.' Well, it looks like we are going to meet again Deokjeokdo. I can't refuse an offer like that.

Jungdo Island

Last week, six of us awoke on a bright Sunday morning in a Chuncheon love motel. The fake tash rash from the previous night's shenanigans had gone (thank god), and it turns out that Chuncheon has more to offer than Dak Galbi and a Mime Festival. Just a small boat ride away is the beautiful forested river island of Jungdo.....

We strolled up to the small ferry crossing and handed over the 5,300 won (£2.60) return ticket price. Blimey that's good, I hear you cry! Well yes, but the crossing takes all of about 15 minutes, and most of that is the boat turning around. Even so, it was enough for a few Koreans to get a full powered, mouth-open, head-jerking, deep sleep in.

The island is extremely small, and designed for relaxing, sunbathing, cycling and picnicing. There aren't many cars on the island (probably because they wouldn't fit), so the best thing to do is hire one of the many bicycles and zip around taking in all the scenery. So that's what we did.

You can stay overnight in wooden cabins by the waterside if you want to make a weekend of it, but even a few hours on the island gives you time to soak it all in and spend enough time risking your life trying to manoeuvre a novelty tandem bike.

We headed back to the ferry, but not before visiting a dusty shop that seemed to sell very few things, yet had a lot of pickled animals in jars. Maybe they were for sale too. Pickled snake, anyone?

The Whats and The Hows

How do I get there?     Take a taxi from Chuncheon Bus Terminal for about 3,000 won. Ferries leave every half hour, 09:00-17:00, and cost 5,300 won return.

What is there to do?    There is an outdoor swimming pool, tennis courts, football pitches, and rentable bikes and mini-quad bikes.

More info?                    look at this visit korea page.

Tash-Tastic in Chuncheon

Seeing as the Festival Season has officially hit Korea, it would feel rude not to get involved. Especially as  'the festivals of Korea are as vibrant and passionate as it's people!' (ooo la la). At least, that's what the board of tourism says. So the last month has been one big mix of music and arts festivals. Wonderful!

But it's not as easy as you might think. Korea goes a little festival crazy. There are festivals for everything...and I mean, everything. Kimchi festivals, butterfly festivals, herb festivals, green tea festivals, traditional tea bowl festivals, mud festivals, mime festivals, music festivals...the list goes on. Oh my! How can you tell which ones to go to? How can you tell which ones will be amazing and which ones will just be....well, a bit rubbish? It's a festival mine field out there.

Well, you do a fair amount of research into the festival events. You consider whether the place would actually be better without a shed loads of tourists, and look at the events lined up to see if any of it actually appeals. And just in case... have a back-up to save the day. A good fake moustache or bottle of tequila will do.

So last month saw in Seoul World DJ Festival, Ansan Street Arts Festival and the HBC Music Festival, and they were all amazing. This weekend was time for Chuncheon International Mime Festival. OK, a mime festival might sound a little random, but the festival holds all types of performance - dance, theatre, music, fire. Wowza. How can I refuse that? So we hopped on the bus, snoozed for four hours, and woke up in Chuncheon. Bring on the frivolities!

The place was a creative heaven. Loads of stalls were open for festival-goers to make their own decorations, and these were used to adorn the festival site. Masks, flags, paintings, signs. And lots of condoms. Condoms everywhere. Infact, it was probably more condom heaven than creative heaven.

There was even an outdoor Condom Gallery, placed between the family picnic area and the Womb Experience Programme. Bit weird? Yes. Especially when you realise that what these toddlers are holding are not balloons. And no, that’s not a balloon in the little girl's mouth. What the devil's going on here? According to the festival, it was 'to give youth a chance to experience a natural and healthy value for sex.... Through the making process, we will let youth feel the dignity and responsibility of life.' Unfortunately, I don't think dignity is what happened.

Soon enough we were distracted by the group of suit-wearing business men who started doing the sperm dance. Despite the weirdness, I liked these guys. It must take a lot of guts to get up and pretend to be sperm.

And so the festival continued. A lot of different acts, all quite strange. But soon enough we had exhausted all the stalls, seen enough weirdness to fill a lifetime, and were twiddling our thumbs a little when there they were.......THE TASH'S. I never knew it before, but donning a fake moustache gives you power. It gives you confidence. It gives you authority. And er, a lot of people laughing at you.

We finally left the festival to go eat dinner. Seeing as Chuncheon is the home of Dak Galbi, we settled for a nice family restaurant and strolled in nonchalantly with our tash's. The Koreans gawped until we realised that moustaches are really hard to eat with (how do men do it?) and so took them off. And underneath was a tash-shaped red line. Great, a tash rash. The best way to end a festival.

Festival Fan?

'Visit Korea' has an interactive map to show all the festivals in Korea, according to month and location. It's easy to use, and shows all the info you need on each festival. Woo! Take a look here